How to tell if that Match.com account is fake. (From Personal Experience)

Julia on Match.com : https://flic.kr/p/c3Uio

On Average — 1 in 10 is fake!

I joined Match.com (affiliate link) and signup with the three month membership.  I must say it was nothing I was expecting. Me and this lady online started talking on their in under a day we switched to the Google Hangouts and have been chatting for the past week at least on and off.   I’ve been loving the talks, and we have talked about everything from sex to secrets in dating!  I’ve been up front about almost everything that wasn’t to personal and we are finally going to meet in the next few weeks.  Even though Venturebeat talks about one in ten profiles are scams.   I do not like scams or for that matter and I try to avoid them at all costs!

How to defend against Scammers!

There are ways to find out if that profile or that picture is possibly a scammer.    I will say that even these techniques are not a 100% guarantee and you will have to ultimately make your own decision on if that person is actually real or fake.   If you take my advice you’ll be far more likely to find the real account and keep yourself from getting hurt.  Although again, it isn’t going to be 100% perfect, you could still find those scammers who are more diligent in their scams.   

Details are everything!

If you find a match on Match.com (affiliate link), Zoosk, eharmony, or OkCupid.   You will need to do several things before you email them or chat with them.  

• Search for their Pictures  — Download or find the link to their picture on the dating site and do a reverse picture search on sites like Tineye.com, Bing, or Google.  These are the three you should start first and try other sites that have similar abilities.  
• Profile search — Copy the whole text of the profile and search Google and Bing and see if you find other profiles with the same text in either whole parts or over 50% of the same text.   Even though it could happen it is unlikely that the profiles would use the same exact wording and styles.
• Self Employment — if the profile says they are self employed then that is another mark on the profile and you will have to be careful.   It doesnt’ mean that it should be disqualified all together but it should make you keep on the look out for them asking for money.   

Most of the time, these are the red sirens in the mind that should go off if you do come across a profile that is questionable.   If you find two or more of these that are on other sites or same site with different name and profile.   You can bet that it could very well be a dating scammer.   Only way to know for sure is time.

The Chat sessions!

If by chance you found someone who doesn’t have any of these 3 things going on with their profile.   You should start talking to them but you need to do these steps until you finally meet!

• Picture exchanges — if they send you new pictures you have never seen before, you should go back and find the most likely photos that might be used on other and see if those pictures come back with hits to other sites.   It not be as bad as you think but it should be kept a constantly making sure the person is real.
• No money — Tell the person after you get to know them your stance on not giving money to them or anyone else until you have physically met them.   Even then you should be cautious after the first meeting because they could very well be scammers.   Again only time will tell.   If you throw out this to the scammer, they will stop talking to you because they know they are wasting their time on you.   It is a good way to weed out the fakes accounts from the real ones.  The ones that are really will understand not try to get any money from you.
• Be Honest — Be honest with yourself and them about your goals and what you are wanting from the relationship can help determine if they are truly meant for you or some other person.   If you try to hide these things, then you will not succeed in finding that perfect match.

If you follow these simple steps, your less likely to be scammed and thus you are will have a much enjoyable eperience in your dating endeavor.   Nothing is set in stone with these steps but I am sure these will help you in finding your perfect mate for life and help you avoid those scammers!

Truths in Dating and Why most men need to read this book!

Truths In Dating (Amazon Affiliate Link)

The simple truths that people rarely ask themselves or others.  Truth In Dating which captivates me to the extreme.

Some of the common questions that I have asked while reading this resolves around a certain young lady that I have been talking with the last few weeks:

• Is it wrong that I think your Cute?
• Is it wrong that I simply enjoy seeing your texts or you when you call? 
• Is it wrong that when your sick, I just want to wrap my arms around you and try to help.
• Is it wrong that I See a picture of you and the first thing I see is your eyes and that makes me smile? 
• Is it wrong to want you to be happy? 
• Is it wrong to ask God to bless you as much as he blessed me with just having you as a friend? 
• Is it wrong that I enjoy listening to the sound of your voice when we talk on the phone? 
• Is it wrong that you have been my muse the last few weeks with writing? 
• Is it wrong that I just want to hold you and never let go? 
• Is it wrong that I’m over joyed when you do something fantastic? 
• Is it wrong that I want to help you get the best job possible?

Not that it matters what people think about what I am writing because this blog has always been a way to put my thoughts in words and possibly help a few people if at all possible.   This book has already had an almost immediant impact in what I am doing in search for the right person.   I expect nothing to change in the next week or months but I am finally giving up the control of how to find a date.   I am going to be an open book to everyone who is my friend and hopefully I find that special someone.

When I started my journey on understanding about Singleness, I found that I needed to learn about being single and thus, I became single in one aspect and my heart grew even better because I started to see all these possiblities.   

Telling the truth

As with anything in life, something I have already gleemed from just a few chapters of this book is that you must start honestly with any relationship you have rather it is a friend or the love of your life.   Most people hide behind some reason why they do not want to be honest with someone.   Most of the time it is because they fear rejection and not wanting to loss this sense of control in how they approach this certain relationship.  I’ve learned through God that I have no control what so ever, he’s the only one that has all the control.   I am just doing his will.   

I’ve started reading this book “Truth In Dating (Amazon Affiliate Link) By Susan Campbell” last night and I have yet to finish but it has started me thinking of everything that I could do to make a lasting connection with that one person that I know God has for my life.  I strongly encourage you to read this book and decide for yourself.   You sure not going to regret the insights you learn from reading this book.   It will guide you on how you should be and why it is so important to be honest!

Those silly mind games girls play on Dating siteS!

Dating and online relationship!

I’ve been having a little success at the so called online dating sites such as Christian Mingle and Perfect Match (those scary Affiliate links).  Sites that work well for looking for a long term relationship for those who just don’t have alot of time to go to bar scenes or go out every night just to find someone.  I am not here to review these sites in truthfulness, I am here to talk about those silly mind games people play on these sites.

The silent treatment!

This one is one of those that usually the thing that most people do to be polite and say they aren’t interested or because they want to play hard to get.   It is something that usually young people usually do but that doesn’t mean older guys or girls will not do this just to feel like they have the power.   I am sure this has happened to most guys or even girls out trying to find that special relationship.

Flirting but nothing more!

I am probably either been a victim of this or have done it in the past.   Sometimes we flirt just to be a little selfish and I do know.  In the past, I did it for the excitation of seeing who is interested and wanting to test the waters sort of speak.  I however have learned that when women do it when they have a boyfriend, it is a very bad sign to interfere with a couple.  You really should just walk away and wait till they break up or find someone else.

No rules!

Women and some men think there is a rules to dating.   Such as you can’t call them immediately after getting their number.   This to some women who think they may come off clingy or to desperate, is the main reason I don’t understand them.   I for one mean what I say and say what I mean.   If I tell you are beautiful and I love your eyes, that my friend is truth.   You best advice is to just throw those silly rules out he window and try to do it the right way!

Quit over Analyzing!

This one usually applies just to women but I am sure some guys sometimes over analyze what a girl said or did and you are trying to figure out what it actually means.   If you have a question then it is just simpler to ask him or her what they meant from that comment or question.   You will be much more open to finding that special someone when you don’t over think it!

These are what I’ve tried to do and not play those mind games that most people do because they are testing the waters.   I am not here to test waters but to find that special someone!

How NOT to fall for a Online Dating Scam!

It just gets harder!

When I first started this Journey, It didn’t seem like it would be this HARD.  I was wrong, I keep fining these emails and instant messages on a few of these sites that just makes me wonder how many people fall for these Online Dating Scams?

I figure it was high time, someone at least talked about how to avoid these people and to recognize them for who they are.  

Knowledge is Power!

Some of the best ways to figure it out is simple common knowledge.  When you have dealt with these types of people before you get to know just how to know some of the stuff.   Here is a quick run down on what I know and hopefully it will help you to see them coming and avoid them.

Language!

We all have it and we all use it.  Each culture and area of the world is a little bit different, just like if your reading this in China, or Europe it might not be as good unless you have studied and understood the US American culture.  So what does this have to do with dating site?  If you get a message or email from someone and the email isn’t as easy to read because of how it is worded.   Then that should throw up a red flag.   I am not going to say that is the most definitive way to know but it is the most common way I can tell if they live close or not. I will not talk to anyone who has doesn’t live close.   Why put the energy into a relationship just to have it broken.

If it seems to Good to be True!

Then maybe it isn’t,  You get emails from Guys/Girls who for a better word for it is eye candy.   They look very nice and really out of your league.  My one idea is that they don’t have to look extraordinary but they do have to be beautiful.   So I come up wit ha chart that helps me.   It is basically a 1 through 10 number system and if I pick a 10 then I am very leary of the person.  The higher the number the the less likely it is a true person but that doesn’t mean I can’t be wrong it just seems to work for me.

Ask about them!

Here is my other safety tip, if you have went through all of the other two suggestions.   You probably wondering if they are for you.   This is where you will know for certain, ask about them and their family.   If they say stuff about a family member or parents that are dead and them having to move to a far off country that is usually a tale tale sign that they aren’t trying to scam you.   

Don’t open Attachments!

This probably don’t need to be said to much but you never know what a scammer intentions are an they may want you to open an attachment just to infect your system.  So if they send you something then you shouldn’t use it.   They might be trying to get your bank account or something else.   If you open it then you might just get malware, or spyware an then you only have yourself to blame!

The Dark side of Dating sites!

Come to The Dark Side, We have cookies Shirt -- Cafepress (Click image to check it out!)

You Don't know the Power of the Dark Side on Dating sites!

When your looking for that special someone you probably have been on several different sites.  It however is nothing compared to some of the things I've seen.   I'd get emails with the heading:

• Someone sent you a Flirt
• Someone's Trying to Get in Touch With You!
• A Zoosk member would like to chat with you on Zoosk
• A Zoosk member sent you a flirt on Zoosk!
• Someone wants to meet you!

These are a few of the emails I would get from time on these sites.   Some times it is a legit email and other times.   You have to wonder who comes up with the email.   Most of the time you get emails from people with phone numbers and email addresses they usually use "/" to avoid the filters on the said dating sites.   Now here are a few observations from not being scammed on dating sites!

Ways to tell you it's a fake profile!

It doesn't make much since but these people who send you some stuff makes me worry.   For example here are my tips to know if this is a spam and probably just a scam email in the same process.

• Gives out the Email address the first email!
• Gives out the text number to text them on the first email!
• They claim to be living in another country in the first or few emails in!
• The person profile isn't complete!
• The picture on the profile is super hot!

These are just a few observations that tell me a profile is either fake, but it isn't the only indication.   Usually if I am curious I will still use one of my many email address specifically designed for the spam catching emails addresses.  Just to see if this is a real person or not.   You can usually tell by checking out the email headers.  If you ever want to know for sure this is the best possible way to tell if this email is coming from Germany, Africa, or Some other country besides the one you are on.   It just takes a little patients!  Hope this helps you out!

Paul Sylvester

Amazon Affiliate Link

Looking for that Special Someone through Dating Sites!

Dating Sites and You!

I've recently told you about a few dating sites, and I wanted to talk about my experiences.  Some of the sites that I've tried are:

• Christian Mingle -- I've got my own profile and everything.   I personally have tried this site for several weeks.
• Plenty of Fish -- This is a good site for people who are wanting to chat for free.
• Zoosk -- Another site that you can use to find that perfect someone.  I just didn't like the fact that you can look but not chat or even message people without buying a subscription.

These are just a few of the sites that you could visit if you are looking for that special someone.  I've been trying these sites few a months and I'm really am hoping I'd find that special someone.

Elizabeth Gallagher where are you?

I've calling out my readers to see if you can help find this person    I know there are people out there that are hopeless romantics but I saw this girl on Christian Mingle and also Zoosk.  Her Profile on one of the sites is quite interesting.  She's a blogger and I'm a blogger also, this would be one of the many things we have in common.   Maybe even have something to do together, she could talk about sports and I'll talk about the technology behind the sports.  It would be a glorious place for fans of sports to understand it. 

I'm hoping she gets word of this post and comes looking herself.   I know I've tried to contact her through the site and not had any luck with her.   I'm not sure if the spam system is blocking my attempts or what so I thought I'd be bold and do something that is totally outside of my comfort zone.   If you know her or her blog make sure to give her my site and tell her to check it out.   If you want also make sure she gets the blog post in question.   

Paul Sylvester

Amazon Affiliate Link

My Top 5 free dating sites/Apps for Android!

I'm back into the game!

It hasn't been a real secret the last few months but if you didn't know, I am in the process of getting a divorce.  It probably isn't something that is going to shock or amaze people.   You'd probably think it is normal to get divorce, and I'd tend to agree with you.   It however doesn't mean, that I long for the touch of a female.  After all, I think it is ingrained in everybody to have someone special with them for most of their life.  I have started to look around to see what I could find in the way of Free Android dating Apps, but in truthfulness most of them fell short.

They've fallen and can't get up!

As I've been looking around for all the free sites out there that might be useful in finding someone special, I've really haven't found anything really significant out there but that doesn't mean I don't have a few good runner ups out there that I would recommend to my friends and family.  I figure I at least point you in fairly safe direction and let you figure out which ones you may want to explore.

• Plenty Of Fish(POF for short) -- I've been using this app pretty much every day checking to see what it would find.  I haven't had any hooks yet but that just might be that I'm a blogger.  Most females, I think are a little turned off by that, don't want to be in the lime light sort to speak!
• Skout --  I've pretty much given up on this app.  I constantly be bugged with advertising and thus it got really annoying really quickly.   I also didn't like the atmosphere, they were always trying to get you to buy credits or something to impress girls.  I'm not here to impress just to date them.
• Zoosk -- This one is pretty a joke but I thought I would at least tell you why.  They seem to think that you would want to pay to send and receive messages from girls.  I am not going to pay a monthly subscription for something that has no guarantees.  So it was good to a point but it wasn't one that I'd recommend to a lot of people.  Zoosk was the one where I'd get those dating scams a lot, so you'd be best to look elsewhere!
• MIU Meet -- I don't really know what to say about this but It looks really promising,  It just recently came on the Android Marketplace and thus I haven't had a lot of chances to play with this.  The User Interface is really good on this but other that one, I can't say much else until I do more research on this one.
• OkCupid Dating -- Another good look UI but haven't yet had the chance to sit down and look into this one.  I will be doing that later on this week and updating this post when I find out if this one is really that good!

Those are the good but I do want to point out which ones you might want to avoid because they are basically a paid service, in which you have to pay a monthly fee!

Fee Based Services!

There are going to be several but I am going to at show you a few of the ones that I've found to be fee based.  It isn't as though these sites are bad but they do have problems with the prices and since there is no guarantee that you will find someone.  I just don't believe this is the right avenue for me!

• Match.com -- I really don't have a problem with this service but then again, I don't want to be a paid member!
• Christian Dating Cafe -- Another one of those but again, I really don't have a problem with them it just isn't my cup of tea!

As you can tell these are just 2 of the many sites out there that have their own agenda of charging people to do more things with their account. Most of these that you will go to will always have a paid version but I just wanted to show you some that you can use without having to pay just to send messages back and forth.  I hope this helps you and others find what your looking for!